3 Signs that you have learnt From your past relationships

You no longer do this… Relationships take effort. Any relationship, whether it is your siblings, parents, friends and even more so when you have a partner. Many persons enter into a relationship with a partner and expect the person to do what they want, when they want and usually this along with other factors lead to the end of the relationship.

So often when a relationship ends each party spends the majority of time sharing what was wrong with their partner and reasons attached to this that led to the end of the relationship.

However, all too often relationship patterns are repeated with subsequent partners, leading to a sense that there is no one out there for you. While you should never settle for someone — 5 Signs You Are Settling For Someone You Like But Don’t Love. There is often the need to engage in some self-examination to determine and learn you and what you may be doing or not doing.

These are some ways to determine if you have learnt from your past relationships.

You no longer enter a relationship to curb loneliness

Quite often as quickly as one relationship ends there is the rush to enter another relationship without spending time in self-reflection to learn and grow.

So many times one is afraid of being alone, that little or no time is taken to build a friendship or even know basic information about the person, and the rush to enter another relationship eventually presents similar problems of past relationship.

After doing so for a period of time, there is the need to learn about –you!

More than anyone else, having a good understanding of self will determine what you like and dislike, what are the non-negotiables, what it is you firstly bring and offer to a relationship.

Spending time to know this eventually leads to exploring new relationships with a sense of knowing who you are, what you offer, and need in a relationship.

Doing so will spare you as well as the other partner potential heartache and stress.

You understand and appreciate yourself along with the difference in others

As human beings we naturally seek self first. Though you must take care of you firstly before you can do so with others, learning to exist with others different from self, is a skill too often overlooked or significance not realized.

As you meet others, the partner for you, may have many differences that cause you to feel irksome and irritated on occasions.

However, having someone exactly like you can also cause many problems!!

A sign of maturity is understanding that having a great relationship is not based on sameness, but appreciating and accepting others with their differences as they are.

This in no way refers to the non-negotiables, such as values that make you inherently you, these you must and should adhere to and not even enter a relationship with persons who don’t share these values.

However, releasing a partner to be who he or she is to be, and not trying to have them do exactly as you want indicates that you have developed a greater maturity for a long lasting relationship

You understand that at times there will be conflict in relationships. You learn to communicate to understand your partner

Finally, understanding conflict will occur in the best of relationships introduces an opportunity for your relationship to strive and grow.

Many persons’ view conflict as a sign of a failing relationship and quickly escape rather than embrace the opportunity to learn and share in communicating through a conflict.

This is indeed a fallacy and sets one up for failure even before entering the relationship!

Rather, conflict can be viewed as a sign of persons growing independently, and while collectively functioning in a relationship you can embrace such and engage in a positive way to improve understanding of self and your partner. Expecting to exist with someone without occasional conflict is a fallacy and reneges one to a fairy tale world.

As one grows and embraces the opportunity for positive communication to resolve conflict it opens the opportunity for a relationship to develop even deeper and stronger.

So next time when thinking about ending a relationship, consider if it may be that you are looking for that perfect relationship which doesn’t exist!

So in putting it all together, learning from past relationships prepares the way for success in a future relationship. To do so, embrace time alone learning you, appreciate difference in others and finally use conflict as a growth opportunity.

Understanding and appling these growth lessons will set you on the path to a lasting relationship with your partner.