How to help a teen out of a homework hole

Pandemic school is taking its toll on students, especially teens. A recent study shows 50% more kids in high school report feeling disengaged from school this year than last. In December, Education Week reported that schools were seeing “dramatic increases in the number of failing or near-failing grades” on report cards.

The good news is that finding out about missing homework is the first step to helping kids get back on track. You just need to keep a few considerations in mind.

Empathy will get you further than anger

At this point in the pandemic, finding out that your child has let schoolwork slide may trigger an angry response. Instead, try to be compassionate. What students who have fallen behind need most are problem-solving partners who want to understand what they are going through.

Most teens have very little experience managing email, which is now a main source of information for those in remote or hybrid arrangements. We know how overwhelmed we as adults are by email. Imagine not being comfortable with it, and then suddenly getting everything, from Zoom links to assignments, that way.

Some students learning remotely may also have unreliable broadband service; others may miss key information because their attention is split between the teacher on the screen and distractions at home.

Even teens who are attending school in person and using familiar systems for tracking assignments may be having a hard time managing their work now. 

Work together to diagnose the problem

Finding out that your child is in academic trouble can tempt you to jump to solutions. It is suggested looking into the reasons students fall behind at school. As you talk with a teenager about where things have gone off the rails, be kind, curious, and collaborative. “This isn’t about you being in trouble or getting off the hook,” you might say. “It’s simply about figuring out what’s going wrong so we can solve the right problem.”

Students who are struggling to keep track of what’s expected of them may need to reach out to their teachers, either for clarification about specific assignments or for general guidance on where and when they should be looking for information about homework. As a parent or caregiver, you can coach them on how to approach their instructors. Start by pointing out that teachers are almost always eager to lend support to students who seek it. 

For many students, the ability to ask for help is not fully formed, or it can feel like an admission that they’ve done something wrong. Normalizing and praising self-advocacy is so important.

In some cases, academic problems may be linked to issues with mental health. If there’s a question of whether a student is suffering from depression or anxiety; using drugs; or exhibiting any other significant emotional or behavioral concern, check-in with the school counselor or family doctor for a proper assessment. 

Some students have subtle learning or attention disorders that became an issue only when the school went online. Unfortunately, “Teachers really can’t do that effectively on Zoom.” If this is a concern, parents should consider checking in with teachers or their school’s learning support staff to get their read on the problem and advice for how to move forward.

Step back to see the big picture

Well-meaning parents might hope to motivate students by emphasizing the importance of high grades, but that can make it harder for kids to recover from a substantial setback.

As students start to work their way back, give some thought to how comprehensive their turnaround needs to be. Lowering expectations, for now, can actually help kids to get back on track.

Much of what students gain from school is not about content, but about learning how to solve problems. Engaging teens in constructive conversations to figure out how they fell behind can be an important lesson in itself. 

In any school year, students learn a great deal beyond academic content. This year, more than most might be one where students gain a deep understanding of how they respond when feeling overwhelmed and how to ask for help or rebound from setbacks, lessons that they will draw on long after the pandemic is gone.